The Shift of the Media Paradigm

Throughout history, the growth of the media has affected Americans from all walks of life. There has been substantial changes as time wore on, based on the effectiveness of the media coverage and communication. From the humble beginnings of having one channel, to implementing color to enhance our experience, to having a variety of channels, this revolution has had an impact on how our society has developed. Nowadays, I believe that this new shift in the media paradigm as affected me in a positive way, because of the increased productivity and the fact that communicating information from different parts of the world, has brought me to be more rounded and aware of our society.

As a student, being scholastically successful has been a major priority for myself. However, I have learned and understood that over time, employing different aspects of life and my environment to what I do is absolutely important. What do I mean? Well, in order to be a well-rounded student, and to be active in society, you must be able to learn from other parts of the world, and also have a diverse perspective of life in general and the different cultures that are around. The level of information and data that is shared and communicated through the media makes it easily accessible to an individual like me. Having all of these tools within my reach has made it easy to not only type up a research paper in a jiffy, but also it has allowed me to broaden my horizon. Textbooks are one source of information; however it's not always up-to-date. With the media, there are different articles and videos of the same topic, but have a given variety from a lot of people's ideals. And from this, I could make my own judgment from the information presented, and come out with a compromised ideal of what information I'm learning about.

All sorts of media has affected my life in a positive way. Because of social media, I am able to keep in touch with friends and family who aren't just down the street anymore. Admittedly, us humans are sociable people, and having the people close to us still within contact is important to us. Although it isn't addressed outwardly, we like keeping track of what people are up to. Seeing how they have grown through the years, and even have a picture or two of a special event that we missed out on. And I believe that it's important to keep in touch with those people.

Because of consumer media and the internet, it has transformed me into a productive student both academically and worldly. I have learned to incorporate all the information types that can be found around the internet to implement them both in my studies, and also into my day-to-day life. It has affected me in a way that I will always stay in touch with the world, beyond my finger-tips. One Google search at a time.

In memory of me.

What happens after I die? What would the world be like? How would people react? This question just pops up every now and then for me. Ultimately as many people, both philosophers, authors, and other individuals state: Your memory will be forgotten.

Long after the shock sets in and everyone starts accepting the fact of my death, people would literally start fading my image away from their minds. My memory, if it makes a substantial impact on people, will hopefully stay alive, but it would only become a second thought. Not a priority when it was still fresh. It will only become something that comes into mind every so often in everyone's day-to-day routine.

People will just move on. My empty seat will be replaced by someone new, someone will be there to fill the empty space in which I occupied before.

Then, there will be a time where everyone would forget about me. Everything will just rot away like everything else. Maybe my soul will be recycled, or ascends up into Heaven or whatever happens in the afterlife. Who knows? Or maybe I'll just be this numbed soul that doesn't feel anything, nor is conscious over what's going on. You never know.

What exactly is faith?

What exactly is faith in the eyes of the oblivious? Well, I believe faith comes in many different forms. From differing religions, to different ideals. In the end, they all lead up to one conclusion: That all souls who have served with great piety will reach eternal salvation. The Buddhists believe that all souls who have reached a certain succession of positive endearment, will mutually have good karma returned to them. In the end, their soul will be enlightened. (If I'm wrong, please correct me.)
Christians of all forms believe that their souls will reach Heaven if they follow the word of God. That Jesus, the son of God, will open the gates of Heaven and welcome all of those who have done good deeds in their duration of their lifetime here on Earth.
The mass of religion and their complexity is all an entanglement of deeper meaning, yet from those two examples, we can subject ourselves to believing that all faiths just basically say that our souls will go somewhere much better, without the suffering and heartache that Earth happens to provide to us.

I believe that faith really is a getaway from all the woes and heartaches that this world provides for us. Our world in this time, can be metaphorically be called a "labyrinth" (I take this with great inspiration from John Green's 'Looking for Alaska. Great book, by the way.) where all eternal suffering and transgressions can be escaped through faith, to those who believe. Those who seek for a way out, or just to ease the fear of the afterlife, we use faith as our guidance.
In the end, we actually don't have a clue what exactly would happen once we cross over to the next stage in our lives. How can we? No matter the spiritual or scientific evidence we have, we'd only have to wait. Otherwise, to those who keep faith in whatever you believe in for what is next to come in the afterlife, keep believing. Even if it's not a religion, it's human nature to just believe in something. It drives the human soul to go onward, in hopes of reaching enlightenment and fulfillment in something, during our time here in this so-called "labyrinth".

Time and distance are a cruel duo

Yesterday was our homecoming game at our high school, which apparently is a big deal. Dress-up days, bonfires, green & white (our school colors) just bogs down every other color, and of course the talk of getting dresses and dates.

The game itself is something else, practically everyone from the whole town comes and participates. They come in their sweaters and warm clothes, screaming at the football players and stare at anticipation at the score board (which of course, we dominated).

Me, being a cheerleader, is just jumping around screaming random cheers and screaming at the players for motivation.

Yet, last night during halftime after our victorious routine, I found out my nephew started sitting by himself. You know the emotions I went through? I literally punched my phone typing some sort of congratulations and some words of elated happiness that I really couldn't express. I even went up to my coach, because it is a proud moment. He's growing up!

Then, I felt really down. How is it that I'm here, where he's way over somewhere else? I thought about how I wanted to be there to witness every stage of his life, then I started to worry that he's forgotten his Auntlers based on what my mom said. What if when I see him again, he'd see a stranger instead? That's something a Child Specialist could answer, but it makes me sad to think about that. I'm trying my very best to try and still be involved with him and his life as much as I can, but it doesn't compare to being there in person to dance around with him and sing corny Taylor Swift songs with him.

Honestly, during summer he was almost glued to my side. We watched "Ni Hao Kai Lan" and even "Spongebob". I'd take naps with him, and tickle his tummy whenever I changed his diaper. Sometimes when he was in the mood to lay down and play, I'd read him Harry Potter or something along those lines, and he'd intently listen or stare at the bright covers. I could honestly say he is my best friend. Even though he's still an infant, he could interpret when I'm happy or sad, and he still has that innocence where he could look at the world without judgement. If you feed him, basically he loves you forever. It's as simple as that.

Hopefully very soon I could see him, but for now, I'll be here in Nevada doing my best to inspire him when he grows up.

The piano lady with a big heart

Just recently I was talking to a friend who shared a common interest in playing the piano. When the subject came up, I wasn't exactly ready to hear what her next words were.

I asked her how my teacher was doing, since she has a history of being ill quite often, and what came next absolutely blew my mind. She told me that days after summer vacation started, she passed away.

Honestly, I was extremely devastated. I held back the tears, and I tried to convince myself that all this was just a rumor, and that everything was going to be alright, after all, sometimes rumors in Fallon could be misconstrued. So I did what every one else does: Look it up. And scrolling through the results, I found it to be true. My head felt extremely dizzy as the thoughts just whirled around my head. I felt guilty, because something in my heart told me to go back to her one last time before vacation started. I even wanted to go back to taking lessons, although the only thing holding me back was her present incline and decline of her health, and I didn't want her to stress herself out.

Besides, she was a strong person. She went through pretty much anything possible and still kept a smile on her face. And I'm going to miss seeing that smile every week.

I started playing piano around the 5th grade after being inspired to use the piano in the house that was steadily collecting a layer of dust after months of abandonment after my sister left for college. I got up and polished the beautiful dark wood, and I dusted each key until it was Ivory-white again.
Then we set out looking for different piano teachers, from downtown to even looking for ads in the newspaper, then out of the blue, we went back to the dance studio and found a number for a piano teacher for a reasonable price. With my breath held in, we dialed her number and immediately she answered, welcoming us with an open greeting.

Upon arriving for my first lesson, I walked up the wooden red railings and knocked on the white door.

When the door opened I saw an old lady with red hair, dressed up in her finest clothes, from glimmering rings to jeweled necklaces, in her small wheelchair. And immediately, I knew she was THE piano teacher for me.

Every practice, we had ranging discussions from school, achievements, politics, philosophy, music, home decorating, to even our personal lives. Her many stories of her childhood amused me, and there were even some moments where I'd wonder what happened to her husband? Does she ever feel alone? Did she ever have a first love? So many things that I wanted to know. To me, old people have many things to tell you, a lifetime of stories that must be heard.

There was one day though, that happened to stand out the most for me. When I entered and situated myself in front of the grand piano, I noticed a bouquet of brightly colored flowers on the tea table, along with a picture of a laughing man around 70 years old placed almost ceremoniously by the vase. I asked her who he was, and immediately her eyes sparkled and her lips turned to a bright smile. He was one of her great friends, who recently became a widower, and decided to visit her and recollect on their shared memories they had. She told me how extravagant their date was, how they were both lost in conversation, and immersed in each other. This compelled me to think that she loved him to an extent. Just seeing her morph into a schoolgirl just babbling about her crush made me realize that love never ceases because of age. And I just sat there, truly in awe of what I saw, because as much as I learned from her, this probably would be one of the most defining lessons she would have ever taught me.

In the end, she was one of the major figures in my life. She believed in me, and she believed in music. She put her heart and soul into teaching, and the emotion she put in all the pieces of music she played was fueled with vehemence.

I'm going to miss you Ms. Ricks. Thank you for everything.

Apples and textbooks

Where does the time go? First you're walking through a playground, happily swinging from a monkey bar and giving your teachers a bright red apple that gleamed in the light that it seemed sort of fake. Then you're off into a world filled with the pressure to be perfect that gleamed with the worry of friends and your reputation. Afterwards, you're in this weird awkward stage where you don't know where you are, but you have a sense of who you are. And you try to sift through all the worries and pressures to really find the distinct person you lead in yourself.

Now, I'm back in school starting Sophomore year, and I'm asking myself... Where did the time go? Honestly life feels like it's whizzing right in front of my eyes, and there's no way of clutching it to make it pause for just a little bit. Relishing in the supposed good days is what I really wish to do, it's not like you're going to get these memories back again.

So what happens now? I believe that this year will be funner than last year. As I've stated before, I made some goals for myself, and I plan to fulfill them to the best of my ability, and even go beyond. Actually, I have a pretty positive outlook on what is to happen soon.

Taking an AP course as a Sophomore? I think yes.

Varsity Cheerleading? For sure.

Sprinter, and hopefully distance running for track? I'm more than obliged.

Every class an honors class? I'm thinking of Universities, baby!

And everything in between, well that's all just committed to what will become my memories.

For now, live up each football game, and relish in the rays of the remaining heat that lingers in the last days of summer.

Summer's dusk turns to twilight

As summer's beginning turns to an ending, I start to remember everything that has happened over the course of the three months filled with beaches and sunsets rather than school textbooks and teachers.

This recollection submerges me to a state of nostalgia, yearning to come back those days where I felt the most happiness in my heart, and those days where everything negative seemed to disappear out of the blue.

Everything that has happened brought me back home with a new sense of perspective. Honestly, I found that old incentive that once sparked inside me to really tackle on everything with a head held high, but with feet planted firmly on the ground.

I've spent countless nights sitting outside either listening to the silence, or watching the moon glimmer out in the sea, sorting out everything in my mind and just thinking about most of what I want my priorities to be. There's also just being around people who have been huge figures in my life and learning from them about myself and more of whats to come in the future. Learning from other's experiences made me realize more and more of the hidden answer under the mass confusion that clenched on me for such a long time.

Then there's my nephew, even from a standpoint of a baby, he inspired me to look onward and not backwards. Whenever I felt down, I'd look to him to see his big round eyes smiling at me. For some reason, his innocence and wonderment is all I needed. Maybe it's because he's still looking at the world with brand-new eyes, and everything new captures his amazement. And with that, he gave me the motive to really look onward at everything and admire it's beauty, for the future is the brightest treasure that one could wait for.

Each and every day that passed was more of an adventure than one can think of. Crashing against the tide on a boat, to spending hour upon hour playing with my nephew, to even just laughing really loud at a bookstore. Everything that happened is equally amazing to me.

Now since fall is beginning, and school is starting, I've made the goal to do everything with all my might, and find a smile in everything to continue onward to wherever I need to go.

Sometimes the future is a big mystery

Most times we believe that we're in control of our futures, or that we have some sort of idea/outlook of what we actually want in life. But, what if there was a great divide in what we see? We see ourselves looking past a split future where one thing lies here, and another over there, and yet we can't control what happens. There are instances that actually exist like this, I kid you not. But what exactly do you do? Honestly, for me I believed sitting around and letting things fall into place would be the exact answer to the questions I had. Personally, I'm not the type who goes off asking questions that may be misinterpreted to a demeaning extent, it's just not in my nature. (People often mistake this quality of mine to be shy... Honestly I couldn't agree more.)

Sitting around really doesn't cut it for me, because I'd like it if the answer came sooner than later. Yet, it's something a lot of people resort to.

But whatever happens, we have to accept the better of it, right?

It's just accepting the temporary oblivion is what I'd consider harsh. Why can't answers come easier than pulling teeth or waiting grueling months. Of course it's life and we have to carry on with it, rather than dawdle around like there's no better purpose than finding the right path.

It's called "Amazing"

You know that feeling of an epiphany? It's kind of a corny feeling, I know, but it's just something that lifts your heart up out of your chest and invigorates your mind and soul.
For me, this feeling has gradually made its way into my life, easing itself into my heart as if an angel sent this message telling me, 'it's okay.'
Somehow I'm taking this as only the beginning. For now, I guess I'll just apply everything in my life and figure things out from here, only because I'm still halfway up the mountain. (I'm only 15!) But it's still progress, there isn't one little speck of a doubt. Who are we to say that we are finished? Even when we're long gone, there's never an end. For instance Shakespeare and many other contributors to literature has left a legacy on many individuals lives. It keeps on going from there, people take inspiration in their works and apply it to their daily routines and so on so forth. Although they aren't alive, well they still happen to be living in some sort of way. They live with us, and they surround us with what they have left, just like a gift.
Anyways back to my story. I'm progressing onwards because I believe I found something that has been missing for quite some time now. For one thing, I've learned to balance out my priorities. That's something that I haven't been able to comprehend for some time. The reason why is because ever since I started growing up and maturing, many things just blew my way. And with that, I didn't know what to do with all these new things that were literally given to me by hand. Somehow, I think that's what brought me down a little.
Also, I think I've found the person who I really want to be. Not the changed person, not the person who has morphed herself to be another's ideal Barbie doll. No, none of that superficial bull. I'm just me.
Who cares if I prefer to read rather than to drink? And who cares if I rather go to lunch alone instead of with a friend? I'm a person who likes solitude from time to time, because sometimes people just tire me out.
I'm not a puppet anymore. I refuse to be that again.
From now on, it's a new start :)
And to close off... This summer has showed me all that I have wanted to see. And really, I can't ask for anything more. The only thing I wish, is that it wouldn't have to end so abruptly.

To the face I'd like to forget

To whom I'd like to forget the most.
You're nevertheless the most repulsive human-being in the whole entire world. Everyone knows that. Even though you stick your nose in the air, people hate you. Especially me.
People often forget to seek within a person before digging deeper in a pit where you can't escape. I wish I knew that. To those who don't know what I'm talking about, look at it this way. Don't fall, unless you know how to catch yourself. If you don't follow that advice, I don't know what to tell you.
To the face I'd like to forget, I hope your memory soon fades like dust blowing away in a whirlwind. I've learned to move on from most of the turmoil you brought me, even though you're oblivious to it, but I still live with the anger your face gives me. I recoil and shudder in hopes of shaking off your memory, and yet it still acts as a vivid image seared in my brain. How could you do this?
To the heart I'd like to forget, I hope you know you don't have a heart. Maybe somewhere along the lines of your life, you did have one. Yet, something happened that shattered the remaining pieces, leaving you with nothing. It's a sad tale to tell, but it seems like it's true. I hope you know, being used to living like this ultimately puts you in the category of people I'd hope to never see again.
And to you, whom I'd like to forget... You're nothing but a mere memory now.

A summer to remember

School has ended a little more than a month ago, and I have to say, Freshman year was quite something. I've witnessed myself shift through some phases of teenage anxiety, and hardcore stress due to balancing out my social life, academics, and extracurricular activities. A portion of me has indeed changed. I've learned to cope with the past and my mistakes, as well as cope with many new challenges that life itself threw out at me. The past, well it's the past. What can I say? The scars will always remain there. Embracing the welts and cuts that stain our lives is probably the best thing one can do, because the battle marks of life is probably the most beautiful aspects of one's self. It shows that you have lived, and it shows that you have learned to accept the lessons life has to give you. Isn't that what the meaning of life is? Isn't that the most important lesson you would have to learn?
Well, life now is just what I would say, dandy. I've sought out a getaway from most of what started this turmoil. It's my personal sanctuary while I search for the real me. The person that I'm well acquainted with, yet lost touch with. I went with a close person who probably understands me more than my own parents, who basically knows when I'm hiding something behind my 'Noh' face (Japanese reference. It's basically a painted face that shows no emotion whatsoever. More like a neutral emotionless mask) and through them, I suppose I'm understanding more and more about myself and of course my future. I've learned that mistakes are a part of a success.
Sometimes though, I look outside in the night and find myself wondering what the heck happened? What exactly started me on this path? I know for sure that I'm deliberately carving this pathway myself, but what was my incentive? What exactly was my motive? Was it intentional? I keep asking myself, and whispering them in the stars when I look up, hoping for some sort of reply or answer. As if they themselves know, they did in fact witness a whole portion of my life from the heavens. What don't they know?
I feel silly sometimes, asking myself so many questions that I don't know the answer to. Like a mystery novel, I piece through parts of my life to find out little clues. Those little clues will someday add up to an answer, hopefully someday before it's too late.
Otherwise, this summer is about thinking about stuff other than the past. More like the future. Besides personal examination, I see myself through those around me, in their eyes. It's somewhat like an eye-opener. I myself realize more than I can see. Sometimes it's too late. At times, I wish that I could take back some things, or maybe wish that I was someone else who would get the approval of people around me. But of course none of that would happen.
I'm a huge contradiction. I know.
But let's just say this... Summer is summer. This summer in particular would be one of the greatest to date. Last summer would be the second, only because of my mini adventure. Yet, this one will be the sun-filled, beach going, heart warming, and star-filled one with the ocean constantly blowing in the air. And each and every moment would be accounted for. Each one, more enjoyable than the last. But all-in-all equally amazing.

Shedding the unknown

You know those times where something comes along your life and ultimately changes it? Not for the negative, and surely not for the positive. Yet, the change is so significant, that you're on the borderline of your opinion? Well, that's what happened. I've went through my diary, and found that a significant event pretty much changed my perspective on life. After everything, all my entries weren't the same. They were scarred with a different perception, and really it seemed like a whole different person was writing it. It was like the real me wasn't even in her skin. Like a new person took hold of her, and put her in ill-fitting clothes where she stood uncomfortable yet stuck.

I realized lately that it's seriously time to fight back the seams and find the old person that I once was. Slowly I came to realize how much of myself I found and how much I've gained. Surely people beat things like this, other's sadly don't. But really, do they ever thing of what they've achieved from their peril? Of course there's more to learn and go through, but for the time-being do they actually reflect on what they have accomplished and maybe go through it a second time to really make sure they have that lesson etched in their soul?

I'm still in that process, but finally I feel comfortable with myself again. I have my moments where I really find myself and I relish the moment. It truly makes me happy to be home again. To be the person that pretty much everyone came to know and love. And finally, I can put to rest the negatives and watch the sunrise of a new day with brand new eyes.

I love life.

You should too.

Autumn leaves and Snuggies

Don't we all love fall? To me, it's probably the second greatest season there ever could be. Fall is the time where I'd smell the spices in the air and the time where you'd hang out at high school football games late at night. It's the time you'd most likely use your Snuggie to drink hot cocoa and read a good book. Not to mention the endless orange, red, and yellow you'd see on the ground.
Also, it's the time where we'd get together as a one to relish the beauty of, well.... Togetherness? For lack of a better word, that's how I'd sum it up. The holidays are strolling along, and celebrating the end of the year together really is something. Throughout the year, there has been some crazy exciting times and such, but when it winds down to the last couple months of the year, you'd slow down and take some time to relax and be thankful for all that has happened and everyone who witnessed your crazy antics.
Although some people probably dislike the fall, they do have to admit that there are some bright sides to it all. And for me, there's another thing I'm looking forward to. Next year on 11/11/11, I'm so making the epic wish that may change my life, because I for one am one of the very few people who still believe in wishes coming true :)
Anyways, have a good fall everyone! :)

If you really knew me

Sometimes I want people to understand who I really am, and for them to see who the real Breanna is. So here's a post that goes under the skin, and deep into the heart and mind of whom you know and love.

If you really knew me, my life is based on everyone's expectations. I've always pressured myself to limits that even some can find unbearable. Academically, physically, mentally, emotionally... Just to make myself perfect in everyone's eyes. I finally realized that this isn't right. Although setting yourself in a high goal and putting yourself in a higher standard is positive, we aren't all perfect. I messed up a couple times, and truly I admit to some of my mistakes. And through those mistakes, I've learned and grew from them. From time to time, I would look back and think, 'Why did I freak out on that?'. So, I found myself thinking in a new perspective... Whatever happens, happens. Cliche'? Yes. But, it's really true. Life moves on, and either way, if you react a certain way, you may think of yourself as a fool in the future. And to some, the regret isn't something they can cope with. Now, if you can't cope with it, then don't even think of reacting that way.

If you really knew me, you'd know that even though I live the most lavish life of many friends, loving family, an outgoing personality (that's carefree as well ha) many opportunities in sports, music, academics, and others, I'd find myself alone. You'd know that even though I have everyone on my side, there's always moments where I feel like no one understands me. It goes back to living up to expectations, and people expect me to be happy all the time, and for me to help them with their problems. But really, I find myself helping others, but not myself. It sounds pathetic after reading that, but isn't that the truth? I always pour my happiness to others, because I want them to have that joy that I have. And at rare occasions (very rare), there would be an individual who probably is "jealous" or envious of me, and they try to take whatever I have and turn it against me. Honestly, I think that's a sign of major weakness.

If you really knew me, you'd know that throughout my life, I never thought I was pretty. Then again, when does any girl think they're pretty? But, recently I found myself thinking.... My friends are beautiful, I'm beautiful. Both them and I don't necessarily date a lot, and there's a reason. We're in a higher standard. Those who find themselves in a higher standard, are the one's who are hard to get. Sometimes we think that we're not the best, and there's something wrong with us, while other's who aren't in such a higher place are out having "fun".

So when you think to yourself, is there something wrong with me? think again. You're a rare person, and that rarity must be treasured by a person who really takes the time and honesty to get to know you, and to win you. Otherwise, live your life. There's many things you need to think about besides dating. Keep at your goals and achieve.

And if you really knew me, you'd know that I've done some things in my life that I thoroughly regret. I have probably mentioned this before, but I have. I have went against what I said. I threw around the word "love" a little too much. And I've lied to myself. When I have done this, I looked at myself in the mirror thinking that I betrayed myself. Not only myself, but my values. Pretty over-exaggerated huh? But when you live in my life, everything in my life matters to the fullest. Although I cannot undo what I've done, all I can say is: I vow never to say those words to another person, until I'm sure that they deserve it. And I will stand by my ideals, values, morals, and opinions. This person, they weren't the best for my standards. They went against it. They actually thought of something I myself would consider "stupid", although it is their life and I respect it. Anyways, what they thought, they tried to brainwash me into thinking like that. Why in my life would I ever even think to be like that? Putting myself down to their level of knowledge? That's insane!! And with this experience, I have learned to be the person I need to be, even if someone else will end up broken. It seems vicious, but when it comes to your own self, you need to stand up for your self-respect.

Now, this is a portion of my life, as I know it. And a portion of my opinions and perspectives on some deeper causes. I hope that you have a better outlook in this world.

Time passed, lesson's learned

This summer has been much more than a learning experience. Being an adolescent means more difficulties and of course, more obstacles to face in life. These obstacles ultimately makes us, who we are, and who we are, even stronger both physically, mentally, and better yet, emotionally. Yes, emotions run high when you are a teenager. You experience 'love' and you learn more about it as much as yourself in what you want. Also, you get to learn who you could trust and not trust at the same time. People out there are ready to bring even the most prestigious down to their level for whatever reason. (Yeah, I think it's totally immature, in my opinion. For whatever reason, you have to bring people down just to make yourself perfectly content? That's something maybe a 3 year old would do, let alone a grown person.)

I've learned everything, well certainly not everything, but for sure I've learned a great deal out of this three months of vacation. I've learned that even if you try to dodge drama head-on, the most prominent can fall down, but at the same time get back up if they tried. Through this, I've learned that once it starts, you stop it the best you can. As long as you know who you are, and you know what you have done and not done, you will be on your way to the top. It's all a part of highschool. And through whatever situation you're stuck in, you'll find out who your true friends are. And maybe realize that some people you may have not paid a lot of attention to, or have had a biased opinion solely based on whatever reason, could potentially be new friends. You both gain, keep, and lose people overtime, and all of it is perfectly acceptable. The circumstances are set, and the true hearts will stick by your side til' the day you die.

Another thing that has been one of those lessons learned, is that although you believe you're in love, sometimes it may not come out the way you expected it to be. You soon realize that maybe this person isn't the right one. If they are differing opinions with yours, fighting uncontrollably, creating as much drama as a bucket filled with lard, it's not going to work. I've experienced this emotion affixed over many others. Taking everything too fast can mean dire consequences, no matter what, and sometimes if you start losing what you believe in, it's just not a suitable disposition. You know what your heart is set out for, and we all have differing opinions on love, and if the other is... Well not the right equality of your mind and soul, and you're not completely happy with anything coming out of this, it's not worth it. Even if it means shattering their heart. As much as it sounds painful (yes, it is painful for both parties), you are much better off happy then shattering your own heart.

I'm unique, as you can see. I've been told I'm different from others in a good way, and yes I agree. I found more of myself than anyone can know. Through this, I've found more of my definition, and as time will pass, I will find more and more of my definition, until it is completely filled. I'm only 14, but I still have a lifetime to search. In time, you may find yourself lost, but live everyday like it's your last. And sooner or later, you'll look back and look forward, realizing that you know and found yourself. You are the one who knows what exactly what you want. And through everything in life, you'll see that the wait was worth it.

Finally in Highschool :)

Today is the actual official start of the summer, and the end to our middleschool years! I'm super ecstatic to what's to come, for one thing, there's so many opportunities to grow and learn, and at the same time, there's the moments that will forever be with us. Everything comes together as we grow and prosper towards life, and I'm thrilled to go through the period in time where everyone deserves to have fun!

Highschool years are the years that will be counted towards everything that will happen in the near future. And those years can't be taken back, so just live it up and have some fun!

Also, to be honest, it doesn't feel like summer. Although there has been some events at parties that officiate summer, it still feels like you have to wake up early and go to classes. Even getting rid of my papers and binders still doesn't help with the fact. I think I still miss those days, and I will for sure!

Anyways, I just wanted to formally welcome summer with much more memories to come in hand. I can't wait to see what happens!!! :)

Love you all, and have a great time staying up late!

Have you ever imagined beyond the limitless abyss?

For the last hour or so, I've been in an extreme philosophical mood that is internally driving me in a frenzy of questions, wonderments, and so on so forth.

What is it that makes us think? Usually it's moments in life that create an atmosphere, or an air of thought. It makes us think back. Pausing at what we're currently doing, and re-think everything and evaluate our lives... I truly believe it's one of life's wonders, as well as something beautiful. Life has it's beauty, and really, I want to find every piece, every moment, and capture it in a jar like a firefly.

Have you ever stopped to think when you looked up in the night sky about the stars? We wish on stars, but have you really went on a deeper level than looking at simple patterns? They may look close to us, but truthfully, they are millions and millions of light years away from us. It makes us feel small. The whole universe is put in front of us, showcased above and beyond with many wonders that we ourselves are set off to discover. Have you ever thought that while we are sleeping, wishing, or doing our daily activities, that star you looked at is simply sitting there in a galactic bliss? Somewhere far away from us, yet close enough for us to see? Everything about the mysterious moments we have are just.... Beautiful... Elegant... And really, it gives you something to think about, which is sometimes good, especially when you really need to re-evaluate. We all have those moments where we need to pause and think...

Have you ever had love for someone with all your heart? Have you really thought about what love truly means? For me, and for others, love is the rare feeling and bond between two. Sometimes you can give it away freely, sometimes you reserve that feeling for someone special. Either way, there's endless definitions to that four letter word. Yet, people forget about it. People now forget the true meaning, the basis of each definition. The importance and rarity of such feeling. Why did they forget? Why did we forget? Sometimes we get carried away, sometimes we just don't know. You know the feeling when you get it, there's always that moment, when you are swept away with emotion, and you'll know the exact feeling. It's different from others, since no two 'love' is the same. But it's also internally, and eternally the same for everyone. It may sound impossible, or rather confusing, but it's a true fact.

There's so much to think about, and those are two of my main thought's lately, I hope you may have thought of it some more :)

Good night, or good morning to you all :)

Time for a new approach!

First off, IT'S THE FIRST BLOG POST OF THE NEW YEAR! (Yayyyy)
Okay let's get down to business.... Since it's the new year, I've woken up to a different approach on music and such. I still kept my general taste that is, and I haven't changed one bit, but I've grown attached to the whole 80's hairband and rock ballads. Yes, they are quite corny, and yes they are sung by dudes with make-up, long hair, and full-on sparkly body suits, constant screaming and tongues.... Yeah you get the point :)
Otherwise seriously, you can't deny those ballad's aren't catchy! They're absolutely addicting! And it's different, at least more original than cliche'. It came first before all of what we here today, and that's what I look for in music.
Not saying that I'm annoyed with my music today, I love it as much as a dinosaur loves his tea!
But it's nice to get away in the boundless skies and sounds of something that came first before people started turning it upside down and wearing the whole concept out.

Well I hope all of you guys have the greatest new year and many more memories to come! :D

Get Ready 2010!

Okay so... 2009 is almost OVER! This is unbelievable! So much has happened this year, some big events that made headlines, to the little things that turn out life-changing in this little town we call 'home'. Here is just a re-cap of some of the pure awesomeness that happened throughout the 365 days. Another full orbit around the sun. Another year filled with memories :)

Anyways, from breaking some rules just to have fun, to running around the field with waterbottles to throw at each other, from the excruciating hours of testing in the spring, to even the new-age addiction we call: Twitter and Texting, and even infamous passings of stars... This year has proven to be another milestone for many things.
On looking back, it makes me super happy, and at the same time sad... As I said probably in an earlier post, every transition has some kind of emotional input that is infused with it, even if it's supposed to be a happy one. Take a graduation for instance... You're finally growing up, becoming an adult. You've been through sooo much in 8 years (both highschool and college) and finally you're off in the big world. It's kind of scary, the reality, and happy, and also emotional. Sounds corny huh? Well you can be corny as much as you want.

2009 was the first year for Junior High (well started 2008, but you get what I mean) we got to grow up a little. (Well...... We matured.... A little) hehehehehe ;) But we turned 13 which is also a big thing! You're finally a TEENAGER! You're living your life! Crazy moments (there's been A LOT) and drama, it defines the whole awesome factor. And this is the time when you experience the whole 'I am a teenager, I can get away with lots of stuff while looking cute!' and 'LIVIN' MY LIFE CAUSE WHEN I'M OLD I'M GOING TO REGRET IT!'.

We got the Honor's Society Induction (which to me felt like I was graduating....) which was really fun! Despite the 15-20 minute wait outside (it was really hot outside) with our nicest outfits on, it was really fun!
The un-ending parties, the night's spent up on the phone, reading, watching tv, meeting new friends, growing up, stargazing, and the newest music the simple pleasures were undoubtedly the greatest pastimes.

Also, there was the revolution of 'Boom Boom Pow'.... I don't know how, but it's been on the charts for sooo long, that it was overplayed. It WAS a good song.... Now it's really obnoxious....
Lady GaGa became famous late 2008 and 2009 was her defining year. With the obnoxious Poker Face, to Bad Romance.
And there was Justin Bieber.... You either love him or hate him. At first I thought he was a girl, and I finally heard his name and looked him up.... OMG WOW! (enough said) ;)
There's even the scandals. The Chris Brown/Rihanna scandal was the biggest. I am quite surprised with the conduct of Chris! He seemed like such a great guy. With the whole 'With You' song going on, you'd think he was peaceful and caring. No. We were COMPLETELY wrong.
Then there was the infamous death of Michael Jackson, Farrah, DJ AM (which btw, I have my opinions about.... He survived the plane crash, and chose to do drugs??? Seriously?), Billy Mayes, and sooo much more.

As you can tell this year has been filled with hilarious moments, sad moments, and defining moments. From the happiest flutters of our hearts, I hope that 2010 will be the amplified version of 2009. Even better. :)

Curling behind the blankets and sipping hot cocoa

Today, and yesterday, and many days before, it has been the greatest time ever! Everything has been changing for the good, and all the events happening in the intervals has just been amazing.
The reason why I say so, is because today we have no school because of a snow day. It's practically a miracle, considering Nevada never has this much snow in the valley, and in Fallon especially, it never lasts this long. It's continuation is a wonder itself.
I spent the last few minutes laying outside and watching the snow fall on me. Since the snow is so deep, I literally sunk in and it engulfed me whole. It's crazy!
The only downside is that I'm terribly numb, but it's all worth it :) And when I came back in, it never occured to me that the snow stuck on my clothes and boots would make such a mess in the house.... *Hopefully my mom doesn't see all the snow in my room when she gets back... It better melt QUICKLY!*
Anyways, as I said it's been a great winter. We've helped out in the community, as well as having some mini-adventures along the way, and the Christmas tree lighting was magical. Even though I was late by a few minutes ;)
Otherwise, yes, everything has been great! Wishes are starting to unravel quickly before me.
I only hope that your wishes come true as much as they are!
Enjoy the snow and of course the FIRST EVER DAY OFF FROM SCHOOL!
(Besides this, I'm completely mad because I got ready and got up early for nothing, otherwise now I can watch cartoon's, read a good book, and sip more hot cocoa.)