A summer to remember

School has ended a little more than a month ago, and I have to say, Freshman year was quite something. I've witnessed myself shift through some phases of teenage anxiety, and hardcore stress due to balancing out my social life, academics, and extracurricular activities. A portion of me has indeed changed. I've learned to cope with the past and my mistakes, as well as cope with many new challenges that life itself threw out at me. The past, well it's the past. What can I say? The scars will always remain there. Embracing the welts and cuts that stain our lives is probably the best thing one can do, because the battle marks of life is probably the most beautiful aspects of one's self. It shows that you have lived, and it shows that you have learned to accept the lessons life has to give you. Isn't that what the meaning of life is? Isn't that the most important lesson you would have to learn?
Well, life now is just what I would say, dandy. I've sought out a getaway from most of what started this turmoil. It's my personal sanctuary while I search for the real me. The person that I'm well acquainted with, yet lost touch with. I went with a close person who probably understands me more than my own parents, who basically knows when I'm hiding something behind my 'Noh' face (Japanese reference. It's basically a painted face that shows no emotion whatsoever. More like a neutral emotionless mask) and through them, I suppose I'm understanding more and more about myself and of course my future. I've learned that mistakes are a part of a success.
Sometimes though, I look outside in the night and find myself wondering what the heck happened? What exactly started me on this path? I know for sure that I'm deliberately carving this pathway myself, but what was my incentive? What exactly was my motive? Was it intentional? I keep asking myself, and whispering them in the stars when I look up, hoping for some sort of reply or answer. As if they themselves know, they did in fact witness a whole portion of my life from the heavens. What don't they know?
I feel silly sometimes, asking myself so many questions that I don't know the answer to. Like a mystery novel, I piece through parts of my life to find out little clues. Those little clues will someday add up to an answer, hopefully someday before it's too late.
Otherwise, this summer is about thinking about stuff other than the past. More like the future. Besides personal examination, I see myself through those around me, in their eyes. It's somewhat like an eye-opener. I myself realize more than I can see. Sometimes it's too late. At times, I wish that I could take back some things, or maybe wish that I was someone else who would get the approval of people around me. But of course none of that would happen.
I'm a huge contradiction. I know.
But let's just say this... Summer is summer. This summer in particular would be one of the greatest to date. Last summer would be the second, only because of my mini adventure. Yet, this one will be the sun-filled, beach going, heart warming, and star-filled one with the ocean constantly blowing in the air. And each and every moment would be accounted for. Each one, more enjoyable than the last. But all-in-all equally amazing.